Dan bit his lip as he /painfully/ watched his boyfriend Phil pack his bags. Why did he have to go? “Phil, I don’t understand. Why are you going away?” He asked sadly, holding back tears. He didn’t know if he could take this. “I need you here with me.” He whispered. ‘Please don’t leave me, please don’t leave me, /please don’t leave me./’ He thought.
Phil sighed softly "I have to Dan" he said quietly as he gave his lover a sympathetic look. "I cant do this anymore, I cant keep hurting you" he mumbled as he felt tears begin to sting his eyes.
"So you've decided to hurt me even more by leaving?" Dan asked in confusion and tilted his head not understanding anything anymore.
"I...I just don’t know what to do Dan..." he said softly as he tried hold in his sobs. "I never meant to hurt you..."
Dan bit his lip hard and looked down, clutching his teddy bear to his chest. "W-well, this is the worst you've hurt me."
Phil stopped what he was doing, sighing loudly. "Dan..." he walked over to the younger boy and wrapped his arms around him gently "I'm sorry...I just..."
"P-please don't go. I need you." Dan sobbed into Phil's shoulder, hugging him tight. He /needed/ Phil.
Phil gently rubbed Dan's back. his own tears began to drip down his face as he hugged his lover tighter. "I have to Dan...you'll find someone much better...someone who doesn't hurt you..."
Dan shook his head and looked up at his perfect boyfriend. "No, baby. I don't wat someone else. I want you. I only want you." He said sadly, holding him tight.
Phil bit his lip then adverted his eyes "Dan...I...I love you but...I don’t want to be here anymore. not just....I don’t want to be alive..." he almost whispered as the tears continued to slowly drip down his face "that's why....I need to leave...leave you forever..."
"NO! No, Phil! Please don't go!" Dan screamed and pulled his knees to his chest, angrily covering his ears. He didn't want to hear this anymore. He couldn't handle it.
"Dan...please don't be like this" he said softly as he attempted to hug Dan tightly. he gently kissed his lovers forehead, giving him a sad smile "...Dan?" he asked quietly, scared to ask his next question.
Dan looked up at Phil with pained, broken eyes, starting to hyperventilate.
"shh, Dan...it's okay" he said gently as he hugged his lover tighter "I love you" he whispered as he kissed Dan's lips softly. "and...if you love me...would you..."
Dan whimpered and held Phil tightly, crying into his shoulder again. 'He can't leave me... I need him...' He thought.
Phil pulled away slightly from Dan then cupped the younger boys face with his hand. he bit his lip as he looked into Dan’s eyes nervously. "Dan...I don't want to leave you alone...so would you..." he looked away for a second then looked back into Dan's eyes, summoning all the courage he had "die with me?"
Dan gasped and backed away from Phil in shock. "D-do you really h-hate me that much? You want m-me to die?" He whimpered.
"I...I don’t hate you at all" Phil stuttered as he gave Dan a hurt look "I...just...I don't want to be here anymore and" he sighed "I'm not good enough for you, I cant be with you with all these flaws...but...if...we die. we can be together...you don’t have any flaws when you're dead" he smiled softly.
"Who said you had flaws in the first fucking place? NOT me. Who told you these terrible things?" Dan asked looking down in fear. Phil was really scaring him right now.
"I just know I do...nobody has to tell me these things..." he looked down, feeling slightly hurt "I cant live with not being perfect...I don't deserve you...you're perfect in every single way"
"But... You were perfect. Until you started talking like this and bringing m-my panic attacks back." Dan said softly.
"...I'm sorry" he whispered as felt the tears begin to slowly make their way down his cheeks. he layed his head in his hands as he sobbed quietly "im sorry, im so sorry"
Dan sniffled and bit his lip. "Baby, you were perfect to /me/. Why didn't that mean anything to you?" He asked.
Phil looked up at Dan, a hurt expression on his face "am I not still perfect?" he asked in a small whisper.
"Phil, you asked me to die. I want to live. With YOU. My perfect boyfriend. My love. The one I want to m-marry..."
"y-you...really think im perfect?" he asked, the surprise evident in his voice "that I'm good enough...to be...your husband one day?"
Dan nodded and bit his lip, slowly reaching toward the drawer to grab something.
Phil watched him carefully "Dan...what are you?..."
Dan grabbed a small, velvet box from the drawer and looked at Phil. "I love you, Phil. I want you forever." He said as he got on one knee and opened the box. "Will you b-be mine forever? Will you marry me?"
Phil blinked back tears as he basically tackled Dan "yes" he almost shouted as he buried his head into Dan's shoulder, hugging the younger boy tightly.
Dan kissed Phil's lips softly and held him close. "I love you, Phil. You'll always be perfect to me. Don't you ever forget that."
Phil smiled softly "I love you...so much"
Dan hugged him tighter, carefully sliding the ring on his finger.
Phil softly kissed Dan's lips, giving him a small smile. "thank you...you've made my life worth living again. You‘re all I need"