Phil let his sixteen year old self be led through the doors of his new home. He had been an orphan but was adopted finally, after five years. He wasn't happy though, knowing he'd screw it up somehow. He'd been adopted by the Howell's; apparently he would be sharing a room with a boy his age. He sighed outwardly, looking around the big house, then to the woman who had chosen him, still not sure why she had chosen lonely Phil, when there were other happy children. He was actually a bit relieved to be out of there, but knew he might get sent back once they found out his secrets.
Dan stood quite awkwardly by his mother, who decided to adopt after all this time. Dan wasn't very happy with the idea, but he tried to keep his best behaviour. The boys name was Phil, his age. Dan has never seen the boy, he was interesting in what his new brother looked like.
Phil walked into the room, looking at the floor. he sub consciously pulled his sweatshirts sleeves over well past his wrists. he bit his lip as he looked up. he immediately met the gaze of a tall slim boy who was about his age. his brown eyes were an beautiful colour. he found himself unable to look away from those eyes.
Dan saw a pale dark haired boy come from another room. He had blue eyes that you could swim in, Dan was unable to look away from him. "Dan, this is your new brother Phil". His mother said sweetly giving Phil a warming smiled. Dan raised his head slightly and gave a small wave, still unable to look away.
Phil felt a sharp ache in his heart. the most attractive guy he had ever seen just turns out to be his new brother. great. he noticed Dan giving his a small wave, "Hi" he returned the gesture, still looking into those beautiful brown eyes.
"Hi". He said shyly keeping his gaze up, Dan usually keeps his head down and doesn't look up when he's shy or nervous. But he couldn't look away. "Im Dan". He said a small smiled creeping on his lips.
"Phil, as you already know" he answered attempting to smile.
Dan nodded with a chuckled, "Guess your my brother". He said, feeling slight depression from the thought of one of the cutest person you've met being your new brother.
"I guess so" he replied, walking towards Dan. "so, what will the sleep arrangements be?" he asked. he instantly deeply blushed as he figured out how wrong that sounded "I er mean..."
"Oh, I think you'll be staying in my room till we finish yours". Dan smiled, trying to make the boy feel welcome now.
"cool" he replied trying to calm his flushed face. "can we...go up there just now?" he asked, looking at the ground. why did his new brother have to be so attractive.
Dan smiled, "Sure, its this way". He said in a nice tone leading Phil up the stairs, he hoped he came across as nice. Dan couldn't lie, Phil's flushed face looked unbelievably cute.
Phil followed him, looking at the ground the whole way. this was not a good start to a happy family. you were not supposed to find your brother attractive. that's just not how it worked. Phil sighed as he continued to get lost in his thoughts. he was so spaced out he hadn't noticed Dan had stopped to open the door. Phil bumped fully into Dan. he quickly looked up, a look of panic on his face as he shot back a remarkable amount of space "s-sorry" he muttered at as stared at the ground again. nice one Phil.
Dan giggled, "Its fine, I usually go off into space when im nervous or scared myself". He said opening the door to his room, "I don't really have a spare bed so you can just use mine. Warning im a super geek, just to let you know". He smiled chuckling softly as he motioned Phil to come in.
Phil walked into the room, looking around nervously. he soon set his eyes on the floor yet again. "it's er nice...I like your bed covers" he looked up flustered yet again "I mean er, I like the pattern, that's all" he exclaimed blushing furiously. he sighed "im sorry..."
Dan smiled, "Its fine really, and thanks". He said, hoping it made the boy less nervous. He was unsure what to say so he just smiled.
Phil smiled back at the boy. just as that moment Phil's 'mother' appeared at the door. she placed a few bags on the floor beside Phil. "here are the rest of your things Phil." she smiled sweetly and then turned to Dan "oh and Dan, since you have a double bed you and Phil will both be sleeping in it. im afraid the furniture we ordered has been delayed in being sent out and the painter cancelled, it may be a few weeks before we get Phil's room finished" she smiled at them both then said a quick goodbye and left.
"I hope that's ok". Dan said to Phil with a smile, he knew sleeping in the same bed as someone you find attractive, and is your brother, would be a small problem for Dan. But he wasn't going to make Phil sleep on the floor, that wouldn't be a good start.
Phil smiled at Dan, trying as hard as he could not to blush "yeah, it's fine" he managed to say, the nerves were quite evident in his voice. "so...." he quietly said trying to break this awkward silence that had developed
"Maybe we should get to know each other or something, if were going to be brothers". Dan recommended sitting on the top of his bed.
"yeah...I'll need to know about you if...your my...brother" Phil said sighing on the last word. he awkwardly stood looking at Dan, until their eyes locked again and he couldn't look away again.
"Um, yeah...er". He stuttered when he got lost into Phil's eyes again, thinking he shouldn't like his brother in that way. He blinked a few times then spoke "Um, yeah. Come sit". He smiled patting the spot on the bed next to him.
Phil gingerly sat down on the bed next to Dan. their arms brushed as he sat down. Phil quickly moved away not wanting to make Dan uncomfortable. "s-sorry" he stuttered as he blushed, looking anywhere in the room but at Dan.
"Its fine". He blushed, rubbing his arm. "So Phil, tell me about yourself".
"I um..." he didn't even know where to start. "well im 16 and um..." he looked around the room for something to save him. then he spotted it "you like Muse?" he asked, he couldn't contain the excitement in his voice
"Um yeah, there my favourite band". He said turning to look at his poster then back at Phil.
Phil smiled happily "same. looks like we have something in common then" he said, blushing slightly
Dan smiled back, "That's a good start". He said giggling, Phil was bushing again.
"yeah, I guess it is" Phil yawned and stretched. the sleeves to his jumper rolling up to reveal. many red cuts on his wrists that were obviously fresh.
Dan's smiled faded, "Um Phil, what's on your arm"? He asked, not wanting to believe what it truly was.
Phil quickly pulled his sleeves down, looking at the ground "n-nothing"
Dan scooted himself closer to Phil, "Phil...". He said putting his hand on Phil's knee comfortingly.
Phil felt tears begin to sting his eyes "I..." he clenched his fists tightly, shaking slightly. well he'd screwed this up already. he would get sent back for sure now.
"Phil, it's ok. Come here". Dan said softly pulling Phil into a hug, not going to be able to see him cry.
He sobbed quietly "please don't send me back, please" he begged as he sobbed louder.
"Hey, we would never send you back. It's going to be ok Phil". He said placing his hand the back of Phil's head wanting to settle him down.
Phil drew back slightly from Dan, only to get lost in his eyes once, again. they were only inches apart. he knew he should move, but he didn't want to.
"I would never let them send you back". He whispered wiping a tear from Phil's eye.
Phil blushed and leaned into Dan's touch. he then realized what he had just done and pulled away, looking down once again. he had to stop this.
Dan set his hand down and let his head followed it. He couldn't look back up. He had to sort this out with himself, he cant like his brother.
Phil awkwardly shifted closer to Dan, hugging him lightly "t-thanks, for comforting me I mean..." he looked at his now covered wrist then gave Dan a sad smile. "you don't like them either do you? only stupid people cut themselves, right?" he asked, griping his wrist a little to tightly until it hurt.
"What? No". He said grabbing Phil's hand stopping him, "People who cut themselves aren't stupid, they just need someone to talk to. The just need some guidance". Dan said softly, forgetting to let go of Phil's hand.
Phil smiled at him then blushed as he realized they were now basically holding hands "t-thanks Dan, you're the best....brother...anyone could ever have" his smile turned into a frown at the word brother, he just couldn't help it.
"I just want to help" He smiled, subconsciously rubbing his thumb over Phil's knuckles.
"thank you" he smiled. his hand tingled where Dan touched it. he was beginning to think Dan could feel something for him, but, probably not. he was probably just trying to be nice and supportive.
"Your welcome". He said back, tingling from Phil's touch.
he smiled then intertwined their fingers. he realized what he had just did then looked down. he didn't want to move his hand away but he probably should. "im sorry Dan" he whispered as tears began to well up in his eyes again.
"Hey, it really is fine. You have nothing to be sorry about". He said softly whipping Phil's tears away.
"but I do, you're supposed to be my new brother, yet I love y-" Phil cut himself off. tears streaming down his face. he jut admitted he loved Dan. "I...I should..." he tried to say something, but he couldn't his mind had went into meltdown.
"Phil"? He asked, was he really just going to say he loved him. In a family way you idiot, he's your brother he wouldn't /love/ you.
"im sorry Dan...I...as soon as I saw you a fell for you...I...all I had to do was look into your eyes and I was head over heals in love with you" he admitted, a dark blush covering his face. he looked into Dan's eyes with an apologetic look in his eyes. "im so sorry..."
Dan took a breath, "Phil your the cutest person iv ever seen im my life". He admitted looking at Phil with side eyes.
Phil tipped Dan's chin up so their eyes met "I love you" he repeated as he slowly leaned in, wanting to kiss Dan but not sure if Dan wanted to kiss him. he stopped just before their lips were touching.
"I love you too". He said not stopping himself from leaning in and kissing Phil softly.
Phil kissed him back, closing his eyes. he knew he shouldn't be doing this but he couldn't stop
Dan shut his eyes and took Phil's other hand in his own.
Phil smiled into the kiss, he couldn't help but have a huge grin on his face. for the first time in years he actually felt loved and needed, it felt amazing.
Dan couldn't help but grin himself, rubbing his thumb over the back of Phil's hand. What they were doing was wrong on so many levels, but Dan didn't care.
Phil broke the kiss and happily smiled. he then hugged Dan tightly. "that was amazing, thank you" he said quietly as he snuggled up to Dan
Dan hugged him back, "No thanks needed". He whispered with a smile.
"Dan...what should we tell you- I mean 'our' mum" Phil whispered. he was terrified, what if they got caught and separated, he couldn't deal with that.
Dan thought, "I don't know, maybe we shouldn't say anything".
"yeah...it's probably for the best" he smiled, moving out of Dan's embrace. he quickly took off his jumper. cringing slightly as his scars. they were going to be there forever.
Dan frowned at the scars, "Phil, why do you cut, you don't have to tell me".
Phil covered the cuts lightly with his hand. "I...I do it when im sad...these were because...when I got told I was being adopted by your family I was so happy...yet...I got scared, scared id mess everything up...so...I cut. it makes me feel better...but only for a while...I..." a few tears dripped down his cheeks and onto the hand covering the cuts "I...im s-sorry, im a weird, fucked up kid for doing this I know...but, it makes me feel better...I..." he sobbed now clutching the bed sheets tightly.
"Hey, its ok. I don't think your weird, your as normal as me. But I would hope you might be able to find another way to make you feel better. because I don't want you harming yourself, I wouldn't know what Id do without you". Dan said feeling the need to whip the tears away.
Phil hugged him tightly "I p-promise I'll stop, as long as I have you...I'll always be happy" he said lightly kissing Dan's neck
Dan smiled, "good". He said wrapping his arms around Phil.
Phil snuggled up to him "I love you" he whispered closing his eyes for a moment
"I love you too". Dan said softly kissing Phil on the head lightly.